Well, it’s Valentine’s Day, and while I should be out looking for true love, I’m here at the International House of Horror instead, sharing my love of horror with all of you. Isn’t that nice of me? Unfortunately, that means I also have to put up with Delores’s terrible service. She brought me pancakes smothered in grape jelly. Grape jelly! Doesn’t she know? I HATE GRAPES!!! I can’t stand grapes! I loathe grapes, all kind of grapes! I hate purple grapes. I hate green grapes! I hate grapes with seeds! I hate grapes without seeds! I hate them peeled and non-peeled! I hate grapes in bunches, one at a time, or in groups of twos or threes! I f***ing hate grapes!
One thing I don’t hate though, if the above quote didn’t give it away, is Gorman Bechard’s 1987 horror rom-com, Psychos in Love. This indie gem is about a strip club owner Joe, played by Carmine Capobianco, and manicurist Kate, played by Debi Thibeault, dating and falling in love after they confess to each other that they are both serial killers. And they both hate grapes. That’s important. I mean, who would want to date someone who likes grapes?
Joe kills a date after finding out she likes grapes. Can you blame him?
Of course, crazy antics ensue, as they both indulge their love for each other and killing people, with each going on dates to lure an unsuspecting victim to their gruesome demise. While the effects are low budget, they are very fun with copious amounts of blood splattered everywhere. However, they grow tired of killing and rent out the entire horror video section of a video rental store to indulge their bloodlust. (With the exception of another Bechard film, Disconnected (1984), as another fun inside joke.) Eventually, they marry, and it’s not long before they get the urge to kill again. In the meantime, there is a cannibal plumber, Herman (played by Frank Stewart), going around and murdering and eating his clients while he plumbs. (“Check the dictionary, Einstein!”) Eventually, these plot points meet up and Herman discovers their secret and demands that they give him the bodies for him to consume.
The bloody aftermath of Joe and Kate's confrontation with Herman the Plumber. Can you guess that he liked grapes?
And that’s only a small slice of the of the wacky and zany fun that is Psychos in Love. There are so many hilarious bits, including a stripper who puts her clothes back on and does the most ridiculous dance ever, a severed head center piece, recurring gags (did I mention I hate grapes?), a fun theme-song montage, and numerous fourth wall breaking moments, to name a few. (Yes, Joe, I do wish that scene had subtitles.) Just like Joe and Kate’s kitchen sink, it’s clogged with so many jokes and references that it takes repeat viewings just to catch them all since I was too busy laughing from the previous scene. Plus, there is plenty of blood and boobs, always a great combination. (Isn’t it amazing I’m still single?)
This indie flick is seriously better than it has any right to be and it’s clear the cast and crew put a lot of love and passion into making it. I am glad that I randomly discovered it on streaming several years back and I even went out of my way to buy the Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray. I have a blast every time I watch it and it just keeps getting better with repeat viewings. Now I probably would have ranked it at four and a half pancakes before, but after this most recent viewing I’m bumping it up to five pancakes. Heck, if I keep watching it, I may even add syrup to that since it is such a fantastic blend of gore, nudity, satire, parody, and silliness. You may think I’m crazy that I might eventually give this a ranking deserving of masterpieces like John Carpenter’s Halloween and Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, but I guess I’m just a psycho in love with this movie. I’ll see myself out after that terrible dad joke. Maybe I can find some raisin bran for breakfast since Delores ruined these pancakes with grape jelly. What? Wait, raisins are dried grapes? Don’t be ridiculous! Next you are going to tell me that prunes are dried plumes! (Okay, I’m done stealing bits from the movie now. I promise. Now “pardon me while I have a strange interlude.” Did I mention this movie is very quotable?)
Overall Rating: 5 Pancakes
